The Juggling Act

With the holidays fast approaching I am reminded of the need to reevaluate my priorities in both my family life and business. I thought it would be a great time to reshare this piece I wrote for my friend Critsi’s blog, Motherhood Unadorned. To see the original post on her blog please visit her website here.

Cristi asked me to write a piece for her blog several months ago, and when I say several I mean like 4. So, it’s a little humorous and ironic that I am now sitting down to write about managing time between family and work. Cristi said she thought I’d be a great person to write about this topic because I own and run a very busy business, have a family, and appear to balance it all pretty well. Looks can be deceiving {insert wink here}.

First, let me tell you a little bit about me and my business. I am a full time newborn and child photographer, as well as a teacher and mentor to other photographers. I photograph clients locally in my home studio (near Seattle), but I also travel nationally and internationally teaching workshops on newborn photography. My studio is on our property right next to our home, so I’m fortunate to work from home. My business is a full time job and then some. I have two boys-two very active and busy boys-ages almost 3 and 4. My husband stays home with our boys allowing me to focus on this dream of mine.

I’m the first to admit that owning and running your own business is a LOT of work. I’ve had friends say, “Oh, you are so lucky! I wish I could work from home. That would be awesome.” Yes, it’s awesome. There is no denying it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I get to make my own hours, be my own boss, and call the shots.  But I can be a tough boss. I wear many hats. I’m a photographer, an accountant, a receptionist, a bookkeeper, a janitor, a Photoshop wizard, a customer service agent, and the list goes on. And I’m extremely busy.

Because I’ve built my own business, I’m that much more motivated to see it succeed. It’s my baby, so I want to devote as much time as possible to ensuring success. Starting up a business, getting it running, and maintaining it takes a LOT of time.  As a woman and a mother, its easy to feel overwhelmed. Am I  devoting too much time to my business and not enough to my family? It’s a very tough balance, and one that takes constant work.

I’m so glad Cristi invited me to write about family and work balance because I think it’s hugely important with so many moms running their own businesses today. I may look like I have it all together, but really I’m just like everyone else. I’m constantly juggling time between my business, my husband and my children. I can’t think of a better analogy – it’s truly a juggling act.  

Every day I have to reevaluate to make sure I’m making family time a priority and not getting sucked in to my work 24/7. Working from home, it can be incredibly hard to divide work hours and family time – they all seem to run together. But balance is so very important for my family and my marriage.

While I am fortunate to have a very supportive husband, my very busy schedule puts stress on our marriage. I couldn’t do what I do without my husband. He helps me keep my priorities in line, and reminds me to step away from the computer to make family time a priority. I think it’s so important to have someone in your life (whether spouse or friend) to help you do that. It can often be hard to do on your own.

Aside from my rockin’ husband, I do have a few rules I try to set for myself to keep myself sane. Let’s face it, a happy mom and wife is so important in keeping the entire family happy.

My first “rule” is to make sure I am getting enough sleep. I do my best to get to bed at a decent time and get plenty of rest.

Next, I try to set and stick to work hours. I have to be honest, this is a hard one for me because it’s so easy to pick up my iPhone and check e-mail or my Facebook business page.  This rule is one I constantly work at, but my husband helps remind me to step away from my work and refocus on family time.

I also find that I need to say “no” more often. Getting to know your limits is so important. Its OK to say no if you’re taking on too much and to ask for help if you’re overwhelmed.

Another thing my family does is set aside at least one day a week to get out of the house together and do something as a family. We have to actually get out, not just sit at home in front of the television. With two toddlers, some of our favorite things to do are go to the park, the zoo, a children’s museum, ride the train in Snoqualmie or visit one of the “bouncy places”, aka Kidz Bounce. It does take scheduling, but this time is so important to us as family. We really love getting our kids out of the house and watching them experience new things.

While making family time a priority is important, making time for my husband is just as important to maintaining a happy family and marriage.  It takes work to keep that connection and spark with the daily stresses of work and raising children. My husband and I try to schedule as many date nights as possible to keep that connection. We’ll even avoid movie nights and opt for dinner or something more interactive to really enjoy each other’s company, rather than sitting in front of a movie screen in silence.

Let’s not forget about making time for me. I think women often leave this one at the very bottom of the priority list – I know I do. Just taking an hour to do something for you really makes a difference. It can be a massage, working out, going shopping, reading a book, etc. My personal favorite is to relax with a Starbucks latte, a magazine and a pedicure. It’s an hour of pure relaxation. I leave feeling so refreshed. Time flies when we get sucked into our daily life and stresses.  But please do something for YOU once in a while – forget about work, cooking, cleaning, etc. – and treat yourself.

Balancing running a business, being a parent, and being a wife takes a heck of a lot of time and effort. It’s a “job” that needs constant work and attention.  But its worth it. Life is always changing, so the best I can do is go with the flow and reevaluate if I find myself getting off track or losing sight of my priorities.

There is no one right answer or magic solution.  

Bottom line, family is number one and time is limited, so we have to make the most of it.